The Last Ramadan
Ramadan is over at last. And I have make up my mind never will I go through this shit again. For the entire time I do not smoke, I do not drink alcohol, and I do not have any sexes with any woman, I go to the mosque and keep to my prayer schedule. Uncle Massoud he was so proud of me but the entire time I am think why I am doing this crazy shit.
I was have nightmares the last few nights but was determines I would go through it and even I give to charity though I feel the whole time it was I who needs help.
I have be accussed of on even this blog by people who do not know me of not be a good Muslim and even that I be a fake Muslim. Well guess what? These people they are right. Not entire right but in a way. You see I was born a Muslim. If you are born a Muslim that is all there is to it. You are assummed that you are a born Muslim and that is that.
If it were not for my mother I doubt I would have make it this long but she tells me the only time you real have to be a good Muslim like the Qu'ran says to do is during Ramadan. Even in these times I am not a good Muslim though but I am determine this time I will be.
So last Sunday night Uncle Massoud asks me to stay with Mara. He have work he have to do at the store and can find no one else so I agree. All this time she is still in a catatonic state and I am thinking, now this is my fault. Just like all things that are my fault like what has happen to Leann and the state of mind Sherey is in now just like a wild animal and how in a way it is my fault little Ruthie her sister is dead now and her body way out in the woods in a Easter Bunny costume.
Well I almost forget to tell how the night before I have a nightmare and Mara she raise up in her bed and look me straight in the eyes and is mad as the hells and says something but I can not hear her or understand what she says and she lays back down and there is Uncle Massoud like from out of nowhere ask me what she say. But I do not know.
So it is the next day and here I am sitting here. Uncle Massoud have be taking good care of her. Making sure she is well fed and bathed her and turns her so she will not get bed sores and massages her arms and legs and all kinds of things.
So I am alone with her now and looking at her and thinking all of this is my fucking fault how she is. I have a obligation to her and to Massoud to make things right I am thinking.
So just like that I uncover her and I undress her and then I fuck her. I fuck her a bunch of times really and hard. Man do I ever fill her up with cum. But can you believe it all these times and I am get no response from her no not even so much as a smile or a frown or a sigh. Her eyes do not open and there is no moves from her at all. It is like fucks a dead woman except I get her pussy moist by rubbing it. That is the only reaction I get from her her pussy quivers and moves.
Well anyway after three times I am disheartened and I guess to myself well I have do it now it is still Ramadan. So I have failed after all even though I meant to do this for a good reason to try to bring this bitch back to life and sanity. What was I thinking?
So anyway I have to bathe her now and so I do and make sure I get her dry off real good and back to bed and cover her up and all this time no sign of life from her. Man do I ever feel like a stupid idiot.
But then it hit me. I am not only not a good Muslim I am not a Muslim at all just like some people have be accusses me of. So that is the way it is then.
There is no God. It is all nonsense. How could there be and let me go through with all this? So I have had it. I am something better than this and mean for bigger and better things. I am a American citizen now as I explained in my last post.
Even more important than that, I am me, Muhammed Shahiri. And I can do whatever the fuck I want to do. And on the last Sunday night before the end of ramadan i fucked my catatonic aunt. It do no good she is still out of her right mind. But I know now I have only to be patient. Everything will work out for me in the end. It always does.
I was have nightmares the last few nights but was determines I would go through it and even I give to charity though I feel the whole time it was I who needs help.
I have be accussed of on even this blog by people who do not know me of not be a good Muslim and even that I be a fake Muslim. Well guess what? These people they are right. Not entire right but in a way. You see I was born a Muslim. If you are born a Muslim that is all there is to it. You are assummed that you are a born Muslim and that is that.
If it were not for my mother I doubt I would have make it this long but she tells me the only time you real have to be a good Muslim like the Qu'ran says to do is during Ramadan. Even in these times I am not a good Muslim though but I am determine this time I will be.
So last Sunday night Uncle Massoud asks me to stay with Mara. He have work he have to do at the store and can find no one else so I agree. All this time she is still in a catatonic state and I am thinking, now this is my fault. Just like all things that are my fault like what has happen to Leann and the state of mind Sherey is in now just like a wild animal and how in a way it is my fault little Ruthie her sister is dead now and her body way out in the woods in a Easter Bunny costume.
Well I almost forget to tell how the night before I have a nightmare and Mara she raise up in her bed and look me straight in the eyes and is mad as the hells and says something but I can not hear her or understand what she says and she lays back down and there is Uncle Massoud like from out of nowhere ask me what she say. But I do not know.
So it is the next day and here I am sitting here. Uncle Massoud have be taking good care of her. Making sure she is well fed and bathed her and turns her so she will not get bed sores and massages her arms and legs and all kinds of things.
So I am alone with her now and looking at her and thinking all of this is my fucking fault how she is. I have a obligation to her and to Massoud to make things right I am thinking.
So just like that I uncover her and I undress her and then I fuck her. I fuck her a bunch of times really and hard. Man do I ever fill her up with cum. But can you believe it all these times and I am get no response from her no not even so much as a smile or a frown or a sigh. Her eyes do not open and there is no moves from her at all. It is like fucks a dead woman except I get her pussy moist by rubbing it. That is the only reaction I get from her her pussy quivers and moves.
Well anyway after three times I am disheartened and I guess to myself well I have do it now it is still Ramadan. So I have failed after all even though I meant to do this for a good reason to try to bring this bitch back to life and sanity. What was I thinking?
So anyway I have to bathe her now and so I do and make sure I get her dry off real good and back to bed and cover her up and all this time no sign of life from her. Man do I ever feel like a stupid idiot.
But then it hit me. I am not only not a good Muslim I am not a Muslim at all just like some people have be accusses me of. So that is the way it is then.
There is no God. It is all nonsense. How could there be and let me go through with all this? So I have had it. I am something better than this and mean for bigger and better things. I am a American citizen now as I explained in my last post.
Even more important than that, I am me, Muhammed Shahiri. And I can do whatever the fuck I want to do. And on the last Sunday night before the end of ramadan i fucked my catatonic aunt. It do no good she is still out of her right mind. But I know now I have only to be patient. Everything will work out for me in the end. It always does.
Labels: Religion
posted by Aladdinslad at 10/26/2006
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